Using a combination of videotapes of speakers of different types and live examples, this three-hour workshop will show you  how to:

• Identify your own communication preferences and how they help or hinder you.
• Explain the key factors in communication.
• Identify the basic Type languages.
• Experience a human communication wheel.

You do NOT need know your MBTI type or anything about Type to participate in this workshop. A self-scoring questionnaire will be given that will identify your communication style. On the other hand, the more you know about Type the more you will increase your understanding and use of type.  (Date, time, and p lace to be announced.)

Walter R. Smith, D.Min., is a Certified Practitioner of MBTI®.  He is also certified in the Communication Wheel™, FIRO-B, and FIRO Element B™.  He has conducted workshops in the Communication Wheel at the SE APT Conference, with church groups, and with the former Richmond Chapter of APT. He is an Associate Pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Lynchburg, Virginia where he uses Type in counseling, committee work, and sermon preparation. He is also co-editor of “Triangle Type,” the newsletter of the Research Triangle Park (RTP) Chapter of the Association of Psychological Type (APT). 

Editor’s Endorsement: 

Did you know that some compliments can insult certain types?  Did you know that your PR pieces persuade some audiences and repel others?  And if you know this much, are you able to speak in someone else’s type language?  All of this can be learned and practiced in this workshop, which remains to this day the best type program I’ve ever attended.  Best of all, you don’t even need to know much about Type to get the value.

Walter gave an abridged version of this workshop a few years back at the Southeast Regional Conference, and to this day I remember the type lessons I learned in that workshop.  It transformed my spoken communications with my husband, friends, and colleagues, and my written communications to clients or prospective clients.  By understanding the preferred language of my prospective clientele, I can better persuade them to buy my services.  Quite simply, this workshop changed the way my brain works and uses language.

In spite of learning the lessons, I still need practice using them.  For that reason, I plan to attend this program, update my skills, and get more practice.

---- Carol Shumate

ESFP Dog's diary

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
12 PM - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping on master's bed! My favorite!

INTJ Cat's diary

Day 1183 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike 
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a 
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait. It is only a matter of time . . .

I am a mature ENFP (both literally and figuratively) and would like to find a mate - what do you advise?

--Another MBTI® Coach

Dear Coach,

Your question has provoked an interesting variety of responses from my faithful consultants. Thank you for your question. The responses fall into the following categories: Resources, Type Theory, personal experiences, and suggestions on how to find a mate.

Resources: An interesting and enlightening book on type and mating is “Just Your Type” by Tieger and Barron (same series as “Do What You Are”).  They interviewed thousands of couples, and describe the joys and challenges for each of the possible type combinations.  The message: there is no ideal match, each relationship will have its challenges, and type is not the only factor—obviously. 

Type Theory: Type is not necessarily a good indicator of happiness between couples. It is better to find a mate to whom you are attracted and then use type to note the similarities and dissimilarities of each others’ type, and where problems might arise. Remember that Isabel Briggs (INFP) had no preferences in common with her husband (ESTJ). They had a wonderful marriage.  Often it is a case of sharing the same values, having the same desires, and a wonderful ‘chemistry’ that creates a good marriage.

Personal Experience: It is said that opposites attract and it is true. The party-goer is attracted to the introvert. The introvert is happy that he or she doesn’t have to carry the conversation and can enjoy social gatherings on the coattails or hems of his or her partner. The party-goer is happy to have someone to listen to him or her. All is well and good at the beginning of the relationship. One of my consultants suggests that this is what happens to younger people—they are attracted by their opposites. My experience in pre-marital counseling supports this insight. When I asked a couple what attracts them to each other they will note their differences. Ironically, what we like about our spouses prior to marriage often becomes what we cannot stand about them after marriage.

However, once the couple settles into a long-term relationship, the attractiveness of opposites loses their power. I once worked with a psychiatrist who liked the MBTI® but said that that MBTI® didn’t help couples deal with the pain of type that resulted when opposites lose their power. “The party-goer is pained by the introvert’s not wanting to go out with him or her,” he said, “and the introvert is pained by the party-goer’s inability to stay at home and be quiet, and it is often difficult to get beyond that pain.”

This pain is not only seen in the E-I dichotomy, but also with the T-F dichotomy, especially in midlife.  The Thinker views the Feeling type as irrational, and the Feeling type views the Thinker as cold. By mid-life the novelty of the relationship has worn off and there is the desire to be with someone similar. One of my consultants noticed that couples who remarry in later life are more likely to choose someone of their own type. It appears that in the mid-life transition, we don’t want to do all the work of communicating with someone who is our opposite in spite of the attraction.

On the other hand, couples who manage to remain together through midlife begin developing their non-preferences and so begin to bridge their differences.  For example, you, an ENFP, have begun developing your Sensing and Thinking functions.  Of course, the couple is developing different function at different times, but they become more compassionate toward each other.  The Feeling type chuckles at seeing the Thinking partner trying to flex his baby Feeling wings, and the Thinking partner is also amused at the Feeler’s childlike attempts at logical decisions.

Suggestions on How to Find a Mate: ENFP’s have a natural tendency to connect with other people. Use it to help others less gifted in this way.  The germinating seed of love is compassion.  If you seek out those who need your gifts, without looking for love, love will find you.  You might want to consider joining groups like adult sports groups (good replacements for singles bars), book groups, music groups, and Chamber of Commerce, etc. 

On the other hand, ENFPs tend to surround themselves with people for safety and comfort, but that may not be the way to attract a mate.  It's difficult to make a heart connection, let alone intimacy, in a large group setting.  So you might need to get out of your comfort zone just a bit and separate yourself from others so that you give a possible mate a chance to approach you and to get to know you without the “clutter” of other people.

Also, it can’t hurt to let your friends know that you'd like to meet someone. Consider asking them to throw a dinner party with several couples that includes you and another person they think you might like to meet. I know of a couple of situations where this has been very successful.  In one case, a lonely widow (INTJ) began asking friends for help.  None was able to help.   Finally, in desperation, he turned to his enemies for help!  He asked a colleague with whom he had never gotten along well (ESTJ) if she knew any single women for him to date. She happened to be of Asian extraction, and in her culture it was a high honor to be called on as a matchmaker.  She compiled a list of every available woman in their organization and began making phone calls on his behalf.  Before the end of the year, he was engaged, and is now married.  It took his willingness to be vulnerable, to lose his pride, and to openly admit his loneliness to draw out the compassion of others.

INTP: the Case of the Bored Professor
ISTJ: the Case of the Immovable Math Teacher
ESFP: the Case of the Spontaneous Spanish Teacher
ENFP: the Case of the Overwhelmed English Teacher
INTJ: the Case of the Puzzled Principal

The facilitators include Jane Kise, educational consultant and author of 20 books on type; Robert McAlpine, MBTI trainer; and Ann Loomis, MBTI author and RTP chapter member. 
For more information, go to www.aptinternational.org.

If you join the RTP chapter or renew your membership at any time in this calendar year, you can receive a 10% discount on the purchase of one 10-pack of any of the “Introduction to Type” booklets published by CPP.

This offer is also valid for anyone who has already joined or renewed for the year. Members will receive a letter from CPP shortly with instructions on how to receive the discount.

Krista Babbitt, President, Krista.Babbitt@SAS.com
Elizabeth Wolgin, President Elect, ewolgin@cisco.com
Carol Linden, Co-VP of Programs (acting) and Past President, Carol.Linden@SAS.com
Tony Ingle, Co-VP of Programs, tonyingle@aol.com
Emily Page, VP of Membership, emilyapage@aol.com
Carol Shumate, Co-VP of Communications, Paraphrase@nc.rr.com
Walter R. Smith, Co-VP of Communications, wrsmith587@adelphia.net
Laura Sarisky, Treasurer, Laura.Sarisky@SAS.com
Jennifer Abbott, Secretary, jlabbott@yahoo.com
Mary Charles Blakebrough, Ex-officio, mcbreakthrough@mindspring.com
Karen Ridout, Southeast Regional Representative, kgr@mindspring.com

LEARN . . . CONNECT. . . BE INVOLVED . . . GROW PROFESSIONALLY

Join the Association of Psychological Type/Research Triangle Park Chapter

• Network with an exciting and fun group of type enthusiasts and professionals.

• Learn from national presenters and major thinkers in the field of psychological type at scheduled programs and events. 

• Benefit as a member with reduced rates for programs and events.

• Have access to a comprehensive library with numerous psychological type resources – books, training program notebooks with reproducible masters, and conference tapes. 

• Keep up with all the APT/RTP news and happenings with Triangle Type – the association newsletter. 

Click here for our 2005 membership application.

• Post your events on the Calendar of Type-Related & Member-Sponsored Events.
• Get your books and/or articles mentioned in Triangle Type.
• Network at our programs.
• Get low prices on all chapter-sponsored programs.

• Publication in one of the best and most attractive online newsletters in the Type Community with a circulation of over 200 in North Carolina and throughout the country. The newsletter is sent to APT Central as well as to other chapters. And since it is on the internet it is accessible to others.
• The services of two excellent editors who will help you write the best article possible. This is like getting a mini writing course for free.
• Name recognition and the ability to contribute in a significant way to the understanding of Type.

How it all works...  

1. Send an email to Walter R. Smith  and tell him what you want to write.

2. He will reply and tell you when we can use the article and when to submit it.

3. When your article is received it will be edited and sent back to you. If you agree with the edited copy, fine. If you don’t, tell us and we will work with you to make the article what you want it to be.

Looking forward to hearing from you.